Martha, Martha, Martha

"She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." Proverbs 31:13-29

Ruby and I had a lunch date planned, but I have to admit that I really didn't want to go see her today. I especially didn't want to meet with her after I read her list of domestic accomplishments...



It was like having lunch with Martha Stewart. And the question that was on the forefront of my mind the entire time was "how does she do it all?"



How does she do it all?



She works with her hands, brings food to her family, makes sure her family is well fed and clothed, makes her own clothes (and they're really nice clothes), makes linen and sells it, is never idle, and is called blessed by her husband and children.



How do you measure up to that? I don't even come close.



But are Ruby's domestic accomplishments the most important things for us to strive towards? I don't think so. And neither does popular Christian author, Vicki Courtney. In her book The Virtuous Woman: Shattering the Superwoman Myth, she said this about the virtuous woman:

"Unfortunately, many Christian women shy away from this passage as they measure themselves up against her domestic resume. I recently plugged the term Proverbs 31 into an Internet search engine and was amazed at the number of references it identified. Many were home pages containing such things as recipes, gardening tips, sewing patterns, and parenting advice. Some were very enjoyable to read, while others were disturbing. One Internet site actually claimed that to be a virtuous woman you must cook, clean, sew, garden, and be a stay-at-home mother. Another made the point that you are out of God's will if you wear pants, short hair, or choose a method other than homeschooling to educate your children. If that were true, one, two, three strikes - I'm out! If the passage is to be taken literally, we're all in trouble. The Proverbs 31 woman didn't just sew; she made her own thread! ("She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands" [Prov. 31:13]). It is easy to come away assuming that the ideal woman in God's eyes is a Bible-toting Martha Stewart.

Does your definition of the ideal woman closely align with the outward actions of the Proverbs 31 woman? ...Don't be fooled into thinking virtue simply means a return to the kitchen. If you're like me, you come up woefully short when it comes to cooking, cleaning, gardening, and sewing. But the good news is that virtue runs much deeper than domestic abilities. Virtue must first begin in the heart. We desperately need to fill our hearts and minds with God's real standard to be a virtuous woman. I believe God intended the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 for far more than to depress us. He wants us to explore who is woman was on the inside. What made her tick? What would she be like today?" The Virtuous Woman by Vicki Courtney, pages 17-18

Does that mean we have a free pass that says we don't have to cook, clean or help provide for our families? No. But it does mean that we don't have to be perfect.



God is more concerned with what's going on in our hearts than He is with how many dirty socks are on the bedroom floor. He created us with specific responsibilities when it comes to our families, and He expects us to try our best to fulfill His plan, but He knows that we can't do everything and be everywhere.



Even Ruby understood that all her domestic accomplishments were just an outward showing of a pure heart full of God's love.



Verse 15 says "She riseth also while it is yet night..." Ruby knew that her days were going to be packed. I have friends that have young children, and they all say that they have to either get up early or stay up late to get time alone with God. Ruby did, too. She had to get up early, while the rest of the house was quiet, and get that time alone with God to start her day.



Once her heart was in the right place, God guided her through her day and blessed the works of her hands.

So, what does Ruby have to say about being compared to Martha Stewart? She shakes her head and grins. "You have to remember that all of those things weren't done in one day. It took me a lifetime to get all those things done. And the verses didn't mention all the times I was ready to pull my hair out and call it quits." She sips her coffee and sighs. "You just have to take it one day at a time, and know that on the days when you burn the biscuits and the kids are screaming and the floor is
sticky...that God is still in control."